Batman Returns is a 3-Dimensionally challenged sidescrolling beat ‘em up where players assume the role of the Dark Knight as he attempts to murder hundreds of criminals before the Penguin steals Christmas. This is one of those games that as a kid I wanted more than anything but since I was never given Nintendo related gifts outside of my and the lord daddy Jesus’ birthday, it was one of many to slip through the cracks. Well I finally got my hands on a copy not long ago, played it and now I’m writing a little something.
Click here to allow more of my words passage into your brain.
And yes, this port is about as good as you think it is. Maybe even worse but I still can’t help but love it. This whole owning only Nintendo systems my entire life thing definitely had some pros and cons growing up which resulted in a particularly painful stretch of time when PC games started to take off in the early 90’s. Back then there was this massive swarm of entries in some new genre referred to as “first person shooters” that allowed you to play games from the actual point of view of your character in a fully 3 dimensional space. Wolfenstein 3D kicked the craze off and I can clearly remember being at this kid’s house the first time I saw him run through it, killing nazis and wild dogs. Compelled is not a strong enough word but it wasn’t until I first laid my eyes on its spiritual successor Doom, that I realized this was a style of game that I absolutely needed to have access to. Going after a robot with Hitler for a head is a fun concept sure, but tearing through swarms of monsters with a shotgun and chainsaw was what my 12 year old mind would be consumed by. I’d have to wait 3 years before I got my hands on the SNES version for Christmas at the ripe old age of 15 and the end result is an experience and a game that I will always have a tremendous soft spot for.
Let’s throw a few words at this 16-bit miracle, shall we?
Erase the memory of that Godawful flick where
Charleton Heston plays a Mexican Jake Gyllenhaal plays a Persian from your mind right now. There was once a time (and not so long ago) when the Prince of Persia brand was synonymous with quality side-scrolling platform gaming. People would yap on and on about how cool it was to edit your own levels and that the “beautiful” character animation had to be seen to be believed. Actually, I think I’m just quoting the douchebag kid that lived next door to me who couldn’t be torn away from this thing. Personally, I was pretty underwhelmed when I had a crack at it. The theme wasn’t very compelling and I think he had some kind of computer version that required a keyboard to play. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, years later when I decided to wrap my hands around a GameCube controller, I became deeply hooked on Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, but by then the series had already (brilliantly) made the leap into full 3D. Based on my deep affection for that game I was convinced that maybe I should go back and give the original stuff another shot but like so much in life, never got around to it. Well for any of you gamers out there that have a similar history with this franchise, as of today you can remedy your mild curiosity by downloading the SNES version for 800 Wii points. Of course you could also pick up Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands for the Wii that includes this full game as an unlockable starting at $0.01 used on Amazon instead. Yes, I know its none of my business what you do. Forgive me for mentioning it at all.
Click here to take a look at the whole lot of nothing you can download for the 3DS today.
As of 5pm this evening, the folks over at www.themade.org (Museum of Art and Digital Entertainment) have kicked off a potentially weekend long video game playing session in the name of charity and body odor. Their plan is to beat one title for every $1,000 dollars donated and the initial list they’ve come up with should be pretty entertaining. At the moment players are knee deep in Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest for the SNES. But then after that, sights will be set on Super Metroid (SNES), Paper Mario (N64), Streets of Rage 1, 2, and 3 (Dreamcast) and then they’ll finally wash it all down with some Ocarina of Time and Resident Evil 2 for the N64. All of which will be played on the original hardware which personally I feel is a nice touch.
So how about it? Do you have a weekend to kill and some spare cash lying around? Then grab a cold beer (or 12), click right here and watch these guys do what they would normally be doing anyway!
It will be mine. Oh yes...
I’ve been watching these limited to 500 Samus Aran action figures come and go on Ebay for about 10 years now. Sure, the sculpting isn’t really all that hot but it comes with a pretty sweet interchangeable head and what can I say? I’ve just always wanted one. There’s an auction currently going with the lowest price I’ve ever seen: A Buy it Now option for $114.99. So uh, if any of you dear readers are feeling…you know, uh…generous or somethin’. Just sayin’.
Where the hell did this come from?
…or if you’re like me, plug in a controller because you never disconnected that shit from the televison in the first place. Word on the street right now is that a small
band of rebels group of developers in California called Super Fighter Team are finishing up work on Nightmare Busters. An according to the programmers “masterful run-and-gun game for the Super Nintendo, Super Famicom and all compatible video game systems….” This will be the first title released in cartridge form for the SNES in over 15 years so you know what that means: Time to scour ebay for a few cases of Crystal Pepsi to celebrate.
The SNES may have launched in North America during August of 1991 but I didn’t get my hands on one until that Christmas. Somewhere, some relative of mine has a video tape of me excitedly beating the holy hell from several family members after unwrapping that shit. The following 6 days were spent knocking out all 96 levels in Super Mario World just in time for Christmas break to wrap up and after that? Well, let’s just say that the 16-bit war between us SNES adopters and the white-trash Genesis owning dipshits were a dark, dark time for everyone involved. Sides were chosen, names were named. It wasn’t pretty. But the era itself was a golden one conjuring up some of the greatest games ever made. Super Star Wars Trilogy, Super Metroid, Super Legend of Zelda, Super Some Other Shit. So naturally, a lot of websites are doing their “top however many SNES games of all time” lists but here, let’s just cut the crap and get to the top spot:
Ahh, the early to mid-nineties. It seems like in those days everyone was trying to out-extreme each other. You couldn’t catch a commercial break back then that didn’t feature some kids pulling off far out and radical skateboarding/bmx tricks or shit like this week’s video. To say that Nintendo might have pushed it a little far with their TV ad for *Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island is a serious understatement. Not only does it not really have anything to do with the game itself, it’s just nasty. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that it was pulled not long after airing because parents were complaining or something.
Yep. Today is like a fucking nerd holiday, because it was thirty years ago this weekend that Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back hit cinema screens and began a career of blowing people’s minds that continues to this day. Of course there’s no arguing that Empire is the greatest Star Wars movie ever made (unless you catch me some night when I’m totally hammered and you bring up Revenge of the Sith) and the video game adaptation is up there as one of the most satisfying action platformers to ever grace the SNES. I plan on doing a full review of each of the games in the Super Star Wars series before long so I don’t want to get into too much detail, but here’s a nice clip featuring some of the outstanding graphics and sound that made the series a must own.