Luigi Just Found Out this Year is ALL ABOUT HIM.

And to celebrate, God Bless ‘em he’s decided to embarrass himself on the internet! WHATAGUY.

Club Nintendo Shocker! New Crop of Downloadable Games Offers Up a Decent Selection!

Club Nintendo has had this sweet deal going for a while that allows members to use coins earned registering Nintendo product codes on actual video games rather than the type of paraphernalia more commonly found in Chinatown. For the most part selected titles have been restricted to stuff the majority of long time players wouldn’t bat an eyelash at but as you can tell from the headline and screenshot above, this isn’t the case at the moment. The N64 classic 1080 Snowboarding is up for grabs for a mere 150 coins as are three other selections each worth looking into. 1080 is a game that I spent a ridiculous amount of my un-prescribed medicinally medicated marijuana years playing as a teenager and it’s a lot of fun. Especially now since you can enjoy it in a higher resolution while your hands are wrapped around the asscheeksofthewomanyoulove GameCube controller. Also, if you burn some Nag Champa and listen to this track as you tear through the Golden Forest stage over and over again, shit gets really far ou-sorry? Oh right, what else is currently up for grabs:
Let’s have a look.

Thursday’s Download is Just a Girl. Get Out of Here!

Well Nintendo’s certainly feeling generous with this week’s top notch roundup of eShop downloads. The 3DS is now home to the full retail version of Adventure Time: Hey Ice King? Why’d You Steal Our Garbage? at $29.99 and the 8-bit Ninja Gaiden slashes its way onto the Virtual Console for five bucks. The former of course, is a game based on the popular children’s cartoon whose charms I am apparently immune to and the latter is a stone cold classic action platformer that I will never be good enough to complete but still love to death. The Ninja Gaiden games for the NES were some of my favorites to play as a kid despite their sadistic challenge level. The gorgeous graphics, revolutionary (at the time) cut-scenes and airtight controls made them incredibly fun and they still totally hold up. Still, I’ll probably pass because I really don’t want to be one of those guys who screams obscenities on public transportation. However if by some chance you’ve never had a go with this series before, I strongly recommend the experience.

And wait, what’s this?
READ MORE

Nintendo Direct: 12.5.12 Edition (PIKMANS THREEEE!!!)

A lot of very cool info in today’s Nintendo Direct including more concrete approximations of release dates for plenty of highly desirable games including Luigi’s Mansion (3DS), Pikmin 3 (Wii U), Wii U Fit (Guess) and some Lego thing. It’s a very fun watch but I can’t be the only one that audibly gasped when that crab thing started trapping all of those sweet little pikmin in floaty bubbles. Right?

Thursday’s Download: A Couple of VC Games Make the Cut to Truly Terrify!

Why thank you so much Nintendo for giving gamers two Halloween worthy downloads to choose from today! Unfortunately neither of them are very good but hey…we sure appreciate the gesture. First up is Castlevania: The Adventure which was originally released for the Game Boy way back in 1989. Simon Belmont’s Grandaddy Christopher leads the charge in this installment as the series takes its first (of many) dips into portable water. Too bad this one whiffs it pretty hard as the end result is horrifying for all the wrong reasons. Aside from an excellent soundtrack, Adventure doesn’t come close to matching the visual or control standards set by its home console cousins. As a curiosity, I’d say this game is worth tossing a couple of bucks at but really what you should be doing is downloading the Rebirth WiiWare remake from a couple of years back. Now THAT is some damn fine Castlevania gaming right there, buddy.
READ MORE

Nintendo Direct 10.25.12: The Episode in Which Reggie Remembers Something About a uhhh, 3DS?

I haven’t actually watched this yet as I was farting around in slumberland when it went online 6 hours ago (7am). I’m rushing to get ready for work now and will probably read a bullet point list at some point this afternoon but I gather there will be some solid release dates revealed and possibly some other news about video games. Anyway, yes my bed is made and no, I’m not in the mood for breakfast this morning so just leave me alone already.

New Super Mario Bros. 2 Download Packs Are Available Now and I Guess You Should Probably Buy Them if You Want To!

Let’s just crack a window open and let some of this tension out right off the bat. It’s true that I was a bit harsh in my review of New Super Mario Bros. 2 a while back but listen: That doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it enough to completely neglect every personal relationship until I unlocked all of the secret stages and found every special coin. Once that was wrapped up, all that was left for me to get into were the special coin rush stages in an attempt to reach 1,000,000,000 like Nintendo kept telling me to do if I wanted to feel good about myself. But unfortunately instead of newly designed levels, this mode consisted of randomly chosen ones that were already featured in the main game and that I’d already played the holy hell from. Thus, I tapped out and haven’t turned on NSMB2 since crawling past the 100k mark a few weeks ago. Well Nintendo is tossing it’s feathered cap into the DLC ring this week by releasing a series of packs featuring all new content. If you’re like me and can’t stop throwing money at whatever Nintendo tells you to, this is obviously wonderful news. Hit the jump to have a look at the marvelous options that await you:
READ MORE

The Long-Lost “Pie Factory” Stage From the Original Donkey Kong is Now Available for the Low, Low Price of Just $29.99!!

“Holy, Shi-moly, how can I get in on this sweet deal!?” I hear you scream at your computer monitor. Well, it’s fairly easy: If you’re a Club Nintendo member, simply pony up the first born male in your bloodline as a ritualistic sacrifice to Beelzebub any time before January 6th and wait, WHOA. Yeah I read that press release all wrong, my mistake. Actually what you have to do is buy one of these first party games: Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask, Art Academy: Lessons For Everyone!, Crosswords Plus or Style Savvy: Trendsetters, which are all available either now or very soon. As a result of your monetary donation, Nintendo will provide you with a code that allows you to download a modified NES rom of the original Donkey Kong (which includes the aforementioned “banned on Earth” pie-making level)! Now keep in mind the only way you’ll receive this password is by downloading one of these titles from the eShop rather than picking up a retail copy. Factor in the new SD card that you’ll most likely need as a result of the massive amount of memory these “full retail” games soak up and you’re looking at somewhere between $40 and $50 bucks to afford yourself the glory of playing this game for five minutes before shutting it off out of boredom. Of course if that sounds a bit steep, you could always go and grab your N64 out of the garage and throw in Donkey Kong 64. As traumatic of an experience as that game was, keep in mind that it still featured a perfect emulation of the actual arcade original Donkey Kong, pie factory included. What? You don’t want to talk about Donkey Kong 64? No, no, I understand, how thoughtless. Please forgive me.

Nintendo Direct: 8-29-2012 Edition (Time to Break Out Your Translators).

Keep in mind that today’s news is targeted specifically for the Japanese market and thus, most of the games discussed here are highly weird and have a snowball’s chance in Hell at ever seeing a U.S. release. Sadly, no new information is revealed about the Wii U which I suppose makes sense if you think about it. Y’know, what with it being a new Nintendo home console that will be hitting store shelves sometime in the next few months and we still don’t even know the official release date or retail price or what will be packed in with the system or even the damn launch day lineup or…oh. Sorry. Anyway, along with the announcement of a new, pink 3DS XL (for the ladies) in this update there’s also some potentially unfortunate news for all of you Professor Layton lovers out there as well as a bunch of other stuff in Japanese.

“Tanoshimu.”

New Super Mario Bros. 2: What’s “New” is Old Again.

If you find yourself reading this site to begin with you’ve likely played a Super Mario game at some point during the past five years. Chances are this game was part of Nintendo’s “New” branding for their most popular platforming franchise of which there are individual entries on both the Wii and original DS. This particular take seemingly intended to throw Mario back to his roots after allowing longtime players to hand toss a polygonal Bowser into the stratosphere for the Nintendo 64 and eventually shoot their favorite plumber through Escher-esque Galaxies for the Wii. The “New” games represented a sort of back to basics approach that would hopefully appeal to both hardcore players that had grown up maxing out their save files on the more complicated 3D games and that treasured “casual” market that sorta kinda remembered enjoying the NES original. Well since numbers never lie, this formula worked like a charm as both games hover near the top of the all time sales charts for their respective systems. So now here we are with the inevitable New Super Mario Bros. 2. A title that in and of itself is something of an oxymoron and a gaming experience that while fun of course, is tragically derivative and borderline dated. I’ve finished burning through all of the stages in this new entry and am now in the process of answering Nintendo’s bullshit “Can you collect one million coins?” campaign question.

My answer? “Sure, yeah probably. But I don’t know that I WANT to.”
READ MORE

Don’t Forget: The 3DS XL is in Stores NOW.

Systems are go!

As you can see, I’m currently in the process of transferring all data (via Pikmin of course) from the original system to my shiny new “Virtual Boy Red” XL. This thing is indeed beautiful and for those of you that are still on the fence about making the upgrade I have to say just go for it already. It really does make the original design feel like a prototype. I love the matte finish and the new select, start and home buttons feel fantastic. In related news, I downloaded New Super Mario Bros. 2 at the stroke of midnight and holy hell, that game is hard. My first impressions are that it really feels more like a glorified “mode” than a whole new game which is too bad. Still, I’m having a good time playing it. I’ll have more to report soon enough I’m sure, so stay tuned.

Thursday’s Download: Mario Wraps Up Nintendo’s “Month of Mario” With You Guessed It: A Couple of Mario Games.

And this week’s temporary price drop goeeesss tooooo….Mario’s Picross!(?)

To be honest, this choice immediately struck me as kind of odd when I read that it’d been included in Nintendo’s month-long build up to New Super Mario Bros. 2. I wondered what the hell these guys were smoking placing a generic puzzler alongside some of Mario’s most celebrated platformers. Then I remembered that Matt wrote a glowing review of it a while back (which you can read by clicking right here) so there must be something to it. In any case, the game is now available for 2.99.

In other news, Nintendo is dipping their tiny yellow toes into the deep blue ocean of full retail downloads by releasing New Super Mario Bros. 2 ($39.99) this Sunday both on store shelves and within the digital walls of the eShop. Personally I’d planned on picking up an actual cart but apparently downloading instead will net Club Nintendo members double the amount of coins that a physical copy provides. I guess that makes my decision for me right there. The early word is that New SMB2 is a lot of fun if not slightly derivative of previous installments of the “New” series. As the past 2 games became minor obsessions, I’m not too worried as to whether or not I’ll enjoy this new entry. Maybe I’ll even be able to pull myself away from it long enough to write a proper review!

I know, I know…let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Penelope Cruz Dressed Up as Super Mario. Talk About Mixed Emotions.

For some unfathomable reason Nintendo has recruited one of Tom Cruise’s ex girlfriends and her sister (rawr) to help promote the upcoming release of New Super Mario Bros. 2 for the European market.

Have a look:
READ MORE

Nintendo Reveals Complete List of Portable Games to Shut Your Stupid Kid Up With This Holiday Season.

And yes due to the fact that apparently a new home console (?) will be debuting sometime before the end of year, unfortunately some highly anticipated titles have been pushed back to 2013 to accommodate the launch. Basically what I’m saying is that we won’t be playing Luigi’s Mansion: Dark of the Moon in time for Halloween. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can finally wrap your fists around a 3DS version of Imagine Babyz on October 23rd! I mean that’s exciting right? No? Christ, I can’t do this anymore.

Click the jump to get a look at what you can expect to see on store shelves in the coming months.
READ MORE

Thursday’s Download: That Mario Game With the Rabbit Ears Is Dirt Cheap Right Now.

Speaking of “limited time only” deals, Super Mario’s second portable adventure has been marked down to just $2.99 for a uh…well for a limited time. Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins is certainly a highlight in Mario’s adventures across any console featuring some truly odd yet predictably fun level design that any fan of Nintendo’s famous fat fuck plumber owe it to themselves to take for a spin. Add to that the aforementioned awesome rabbit ears power-up (that allow the player a slight hover after jumps) making their first and only appearance and you’ve got yourself a series entry that really is quite like no other.

Fun Fact: This game marks the last time Mario would headline the Land franchise as that Wario dipshit took over with part 3 and ran with it in entries on both the Game Boy Advance and Virtual Boy. True Story.