Reviews

Ray’s Origin With the Rayman Franchise. A Rayman: Origins Review. By Ray.

Sit tight. This could take a while.

In case you hadn’t heard (which is likely judging by sales), a brand new Rayman game subtitled Origins was recently released across all 3 home platforms. Now what the hell is a “Rayman” you may be asking yourself? Well, it’s a long running series of mostly action/adventure platform games starring an armless, legless Frenchman as he runs and jumps around beautifully designed worlds killing bad guys and collecting stuff. If the thought of that doesn’t rivet you, then I guess you probably wouldn’t be reading this website to begin with. I’m sorry for making things awkward.
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Dear Pushmo, I Lub You.

Do you lub me?

Do you lub me?

I’d never heard of this game before yesterday and I’ve already forgotten what life was like before I played Pushmo. The brand new platforming puzzle title developed by those geniuses at Intelligent Systems (Advance Wars, Paper Mario) and which is now exclusively available through the 3DS Eshop.
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Super Mario 3D Land: This Game is Fucking Awesome.

Hey, Ho. Let's Go.

Hey, Ho. Let's Go.

Nintendo has a tendency to drive a lot of people nuts for various reasons. Be it their prehistoric approach to online gaming, lack of third party software, track record of releasing seemingly cool peripherals and then failing to support them in any way, that sort of thing. But whenever a new Mario game comes around all complaints about their bad habits seem to melt away while we, as a people and a culture are reminded exactly why this company and this series has thrived for so many years. Super Mario 3D Land is the best entry in the franchise since…you guessed it: the last one.
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Aliens Infestation: “Remember…Short, Controlled Bursts.”

So the new Nintendo DS video game product, Aliens: Infestation is an awesome extension of the story established in the first two movies and an incredibly addictive gameplay experience. Let’s talk about why this game is so cool, shall we?
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Flipping the WaveBird: A Controller Review.

Jesus Christ, I am one stubborn son of a bitch. I didn’t care that all of my friends and every review I read for the WaveBird back when it was released in 2002 were going absolutely apeshit for it. I refused to buy one. “I’ve already got a controller and it doesn’t require batteries” was my first excuse. “I’m never far enough away from the screen that wireless even matters” was my second. Then after years had passed, the Wii launched and the WaveBird went out of print which sucked for three reasons: One is that the GameCube pad became the perfect replacement for playing N64 games on the Virtual Console. The second is that the Wii-mote spoiled me into despising cords forever. And third is that the price of Wavebirds skyrocketed on auction sites and left me feeling like an idiot for my lack of foresight.
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Wii Games You Should Be Playing: Sin and Punishment: Star Successor.

With the 3DS hogging the spotlight these days and a new home console on the horizon, we can officially report that the Nintendo Wii’s days are numbered. So with that in mind, I think it’s a good time to take a look back at some titles for the system that unfortunately slipped under the radar and were never met with successful sales. For whatever reason, a lot of people like to claim that the Wii has a crippling lack of quality content available, but this ongoing (?) feature intends to illustrate simply how wrong that notion is. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that there is a boatload of shovelware out there clogging up store shelves and bargain bins, but hidden amongst all of the Petz Family Partyz and M&M Go Kart Racers and whatever are more than a few flat out incredible games unfairly collecting dust.

Today we feature…you guessed it: Sin and Punishment: Star Successor.

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The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D: The Version You’ve Never Seen: A Review: By Ray.

Hey, kids! Who wants to check out a late ass review? What’s that? None of you? Well, guess what? Nobody is twisting your arm to read it!
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StarFox 64 3D: “Ah, you’re gettin’ better, Fox”.

I can clearly remember the first time I saw screenshots for StarFox 64 back in an issue of Gamepro. They were included in a massive preview article for the then titled “Ultra 64.” The little blurb under a shot of the cockpit view went like this:

The Ultra 64 was designed specifically for games like StarFox, so this one should be God-like when it’s released.”

And while the final product did indeed turn out to be one of the best games of the N64 era, I’d say that it wasn’t until this re-make for the 3DS that the game earned the status of “God-like.”

Holy FUCK, StarFox 64 3D is incredible.
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The Nintendo 3DS: Ray’s Thoughts and Opinions and Stuff.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I finally cracked and bought a 3DS for my birthday after months of bitching about not being able to afford it. What can I say? That whole ambassador program thing Nintendo cooked up suckered me in like a charm. So now after having spent countless hours dicking around with all of the little bells and whistles this shiny little bastard has to offer, was it worth all of the self inflicted emotional torment? Well let’s takes a look shall we?
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Video Replay: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes

Soundtrack Provided by Pink Floyd.

For reasons mysterious to everyone including myself, I’ve been on a serious GameCube kick for a while now. Lately, every spare second has been spent face first in front of the TV with that sweet, sweet controller firmly in the grip of my sweat-drenched palms. Specifically, I’ve been going back and giving second chances to the games that didn’t do much for me the first time around. So it was a huge and totally pleasant surprise for me when I decided to toss in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes and ended up completely hooked. This was a game that at one point in my life I’d sworn to never play again, but there I found myself: Hours deep and loving it.
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Video Replay: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

Rind Raker.

So I just bought this shit again after having not played it since I rage-resold it for store credit 8 years ago and y’know what? It’s really not as terrible as I remember. I don’t hate it nearly as much now as my 22 year old jackass self did back when it came out in 2003. I don’t know what my deal was: I was living in San Francisco, had a cool job, awesome roommates and was in my youthful prime. I was pretty fuckin’ happy. But for some reason, I really had it in for this game. I mean, don’t get me wrong: there’s still plenty about it that makes me want to snap my controller clean in half, but the time away from it all these years has helped me appreciate all of the things that it got right.
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- The Legend of Zelda: A Silver Arrow Anniversary -

2010 marked the 25th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. for the NES and fans were understandably underwhelmed when Nintendo kinda, sorta, didn’t really go all out for the occasion. Sure, that limited edition red Wii system was snazzy, but the software “celebratory” release was sadly lacking. A fancy red box turned out to be little more than a shallow shell housing a 15 year old SNES port and a book/cd combo that offered barely even a slight glance at Super Mario’s rich platform history.

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Star Fox Adventures: Better Than I Remember.

Spoiled and bitter. That pretty much sums up where I was during that awkward transition between the Nintendo 64 and the Gamecube. Let’s face it: my old friends over at Nintendo had just had their little yellow asses owned for the first time ever by Sony’s Playstation, despite a valiant first and third party effort (courtesy of in-house development and those genius british bastards over at Rare). It really burned my ass at the time. The N64 was (and still is) home to some of the best games ever made and yet kids back then sounded practically embarrassed to admit that they owned one. Probably because every asshole that bought a fancy pants CD based system wouldn’t shut up about how mind-blowing the load times were or how they could just sit there for hours and watch a bunch of CG cut-scenes that they didn’t even have to play.

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Hardware Review: Classic Controller Pro

Wow, playing Super Nintendo Virtual Console games and fighting games is no longer a gigantic pain in the ass! Some Nintendo 64 games are still better served by the Gamecube controller, but if you like being able to run/attack AND jump at the same time then I highly recommend the Classic Controller Pro.

Don’t ask me how I beat ActRaiser with a Gamecube controller. I still don’t know.

FNV: “There Goes The F@#%ing Neighborhood.”

Around this time last October Zombies Ate My Neighbors arrived on the Virtual Console just in time for Halloween. So naturally having never played it before and having heard nothing but hot shit about it, the download was a no brainer (Get it? BRAAAAINNS). So did it manage to live up to all the hype after more than 15 years since it’s original release on the SNES and Genesis?

You betcher sweet little ass it did.

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