When I started this website over two years ago now, my primary inspiration was Nintendorks.com so I guess it makes sense that the updates haven’t been um…shall we say, frequent recently. But if any of you follow my Tumblr you know that I’ve been online and writing stuff so where are the damn Slist posts? Well, I can answer that for you kids real quick:
I dunno.
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Having gone almost two months without a new entry in the series, it's hard to imagine what Mario and friends will look like on a modern system. One artist posits this bold vision.
After entire weeks without a new Mario title on the horizon, Nintendo finally broke the news last January that a new 2D Mario game will launch for the 3DS sometime before April 2013. There haven’t been any new details yet, but Nintendo has just registered “supermario4.com”. This could just be a bit of legal cockblockery, but on top of that, Miyamoto let slip in an interview that Nintendo will be showing off “a new Super Mario for [Wii U], in which you will combine the TV screen with the screen in the controller.”
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No you’re not reading your calendar wrong. Earlier today Nintendo unveiled its new online “home” for their famous mascot cleverly dubbed www.Mario.Nintendo.Com. A webpage filled with lazily written summaries for every retail and downloadable 3DS and Wii title featuring the fat plumber (isn’t this already IGN’s thing?). They’ve even added a little scroll at the bottom of each page suggesting other games you might be interested in based on the one you’re currently browsing. What’s that, guys? If I really like Super Mario Bros. 2 then I might also dig Samurai Showdown IV? Um, ok. There are actually a couple of cool little bits to be found on the site including a fun take on “Memory,” featuring familiar faces from the mushroom kingdom and also a quiz to test your Mario knowledge which you should have no trouble burning through if you’re above 6 years old and have ever played a Nintendo game in your life.
Check out the card game by clicking this and have a go at some Mario trivia right here. I’m positive you have nothing better to do.
Only for Nintendo’s upcoming Wii U console. Check out the just released official trailer above!
Whoomp here it is.
So in my last article I rapped a bit about the coming Wii U launch. I said I was a little dubious of Nintendo trying to target Xbox and Playstation owners, since a lot of the big features those players value are either barely available or not supported at all on Nintendo systems. One of the biggest ones is online support. Nintendo was late to incorporate online play and communities, and they’re still slowly getting a handle on it. Now I don’t want to sound paranoid or delusional, but shortly after I posted that article, Nintendo president Satoru “Sweet Cheeks” Iwata announced the Nintendo Network, a service that will provide some of the features that players have enjoyed on Xbox Live, and whatever they call Xbox Live on the PS3. I guess I better start writing articles about how Microsoft and Sony gamers want a new 2D Metroid and blank checks mailed to Matt Ferrett.
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Will Smith said it best: Aw hell naw!
EB Games Australia had taken a break from throwing shrimps onto barbies long enough to post a hefty $600 price tag for the Wii U on their website last December. Naturally, this generated a lot of buzz when EB dropped the bomb. Statements from Reggie “Manhandla” Fil-Aimes didn’t exactly put price-conscious (or grammar-savvy) gamers at ease:
“For consumers who want to have the latest gadgets and have a higher disposable income, that’s for the Wii U”
And Satoru “Bad Mamma-Jamma” Iwata made the situation sound downright dire when he simply said:
This is not going to be cheap.
And really how could it? Wii U is built to go toe-to-toe with Microsoft and Sony’s HD game consoles, plus it comes packed with the rad-looking new tablet controller… and has to have the processing guts to handle it. If this thing launched at $250 I’d probably have a joy-aneurysm. And while we probably won’t be taking home the Wii U home at Wii 1 prices, EB Australia was kind enough to step forward and basically say they pulled the $600 number out of their vegemite holes.
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He's all about the West Side. Just like Tupac.
Nintendo has teamed with Jason Michael Paul Productions to create The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses, a concert series paying tribute to the classic music from the beloved game series. Symphony of the Goddesses has already taken Dallas by storm, with a sold out show last week. Find out if you live close enough to some of the arbitrarily chosen venues, and see if you can detect my bitterness that the closest one for me is an eight+ hour drive away, plus a recap on some of the other Zelda 25th Anniversary shenanigans after the jump!
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Jesus, here come the pee-u jokes.
*Smacks lips, scratches ass*
Whoo, boy. I’m now waking up for the second time today. I crashed pretty hard after this morning’s presentation, so I’m still not totally clear about everything that I saw. I know Nintendo spent a good amount of time showing off a lot of games for the 3DS that we’ve already known about for close to a year now. They also did that thing they love to do where they go on about the “expanded market” for a while. In my opinion, this bit has taken up far too much time at each conference for the last half decade. We get it, guys – Old people and housewives like to bowl and play tennis. Anyway, then at the end and almost as an afterthought, they finally unveiled what we’ve all been waiting for:
Wake up. Eight thirty-five. What? Where am I? My house. Of course my house. Who’s here? My friend. Right. Sound. Asleep. Sound. Again. Wake up. What’s that? Like a hum. A rocket? A tank? Louder. Louder. Is that a jet? This is it. First contact. Sleep. Sound. Shower running. Nine-fifteen. Freeway. Free Starbucks. Add shot add sugar add the number to the bitch blonde barista’s droid and sit. Kill time. Kill lungs. Kill ratios. Hit percentages on my mind. Joanna can be more perfect. Kirby can still eat. There’s ten years worth of dust on the table where my 50th trophy should be. Unlockable levels and new suits. I need to know what’s next, where it ends and what gun gets us there. The right drop and three slides that clear the way for revolution.
I see the god damned Game Stop across the lot and decide to get a good hate in before noon.
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