Never ask a woman her age.
Metroid Prime turned ten this month! You’d never know it based on how little I’ve mentioned it on the site, but the Metroid series is my favorite game franchise. The series has been pretty much dormant since the release of… ugh… Metroid Other M, but hopefully that’ll change sometime in the near future. For now though, let’s look back at one of the best Metroid games, and one of the best games period.
Nerd Christmas has been cancelled for me this year.
For the first time since the Nintendo 64, I will not have Nintendo’s newest home console at launch. I have my reasons, but at the end of the day, Nintendo released a new joybox, and I won’t be getting it for a while. It came down to some key factors, so let’s parse through them. If nothing else maybe it’ll keep me from drunkenly wandering into a Target and throwing $350 in crumpled, sweaty bills at a Wii U kiosk, screaming for Miyamoto to give me a “Wii 2.”
This again?
PeTA has decided that the best way to advance the ethical treatment of animals is to cash in on the hype of a major release on a Nintendo handheld with a manipulative, gore-fueled “parody” game. Hey, this sounds familiar.
Pokemon Black 2 and White 2 is coming out this Sunday, and even though I’m a 28 year old man with no acknowledged mental illness, I will buy and play the cute, monstery bejeezus out of said game come Sunday.
Well that isn’t a very nice attitude to have now is it 8-Bit Vader? The truth is that me and my pals here at the List have been invited to help put the final nail in the coffin provide our old friends over at Nintendorks.net with our invaluable insight and expertise on all things Nintendo (and maybe even some other stuff) from now on. Now what does this mean for you my dear, faithful reader? Well…nothing really. We aren’t going anywhere and I’ll continue to update regularly until the police find my lifeless, nude corpse at my computer desk surrounded by empty bottles of discount I.P.A. You can look forward to the same high quality self indulgence that we’ve blessed the internet with these past few years only now under both the Shigeru’s List url and the legendary banner of Nintendorks. In fact, I’ll probably be cross posting all of the larger pieces such as news and reviews on both sites but keep the random little mini updates exclusive to my little baby here.
I know, I know. It all sounds too good to be true but please, try and contain yourself. You’re embarrassing us.
Having gone almost two months without a new entry in the series, it's hard to imagine what Mario and friends will look like on a modern system. One artist posits this bold vision.
After entire weeks without a new Mario title on the horizon, Nintendo finally broke the news last January that a new 2D Mario game will launch for the 3DS sometime before April 2013. There haven’t been any new details yet, but Nintendo has just registered “supermario4.com”. This could just be a bit of legal cockblockery, but on top of that, Miyamoto let slip in an interview that Nintendo will be showing off “a new Super Mario for [Wii U], in which you will combine the TV screen with the screen in the controller.”
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Coincidentally, I nicknamed my dorm room 'Project Sex Zone'... it never earned the title. 
Look, it’s not like I really expected this thing to be a white-knuckle survival horror game… but maybe I was hoping just the littlest bit. No, the mysterious 3DS collaboration between Capcom, Namco and Sega is a strategy-RPG called Project X Zone. According to Famitsu, the game is about 50% completed, aiming for a 2012 release in Japan. Even though the game is being billed as a strategy-RPG, I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t still look a hell of a lot like a Marvel vs Capcom-style tournament fighter:
Pictured: STRATEGY!
Combo counters, flashy moves and life-meters all seem to hint that at least a little inspiration was taken from the cross-over beat-’em-ups that paved the way for this weird new mash-up.
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Next year I'll try and get Birdo in an Easter bonnet.
Hope your Easter kicked some keister!
I take it this cross-over game won't take place at the Olympics.
So if you’ve kept your ear to the ground in the game world, you’ve already heard rumblings about a mystery game coming to the 3DS. The big deal being that this game, whatever it is, is a joint venture between three of the biggest Japanese game studios ever: Capcom, Namco, and Sega. Until recently, the only other information that’s been available is this image:
Sweet, they're making an Atari game!
So what the hell are those things? What have they been replaced by?
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Nothing says 'hours of fun!' like numbers on a black-and-white grid. No, I'm serious.
If you’re a Club Nintendo member with at least 100 coins and a 3DS, you need to know that you only have one day left to grab a free copy Mario’s Picross. Seriously, if you even sort of like puzzle games, you need to give this game a shot. It’s kind of like Sudoku, only easier and more fun. When you’re done with a round of Sudoku all you have is a bunch of boxes with numbers scrawled in them and regret for being tricked into doing math for hours. When you’re done with a round of Picross, you have a picture of a doggie! Or a boat! You’ve also lost like four hours of sleep because you kept telling yourself “I’ll do just one more.”
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Okay, not EVERYTHING should be a Super Mario Bros. mash-up.
If there’s one thing I love as much as video games, it’s giant monster movies. There is something primal and innately satisfying about mutated dinosaurs, giant space aliens, and humongous robots going apeshit and knocking over skyscrapers while beating the hell out of each other. Unfortunately, there aren’t very many giant monster video games, and of the few out there, even fewer are worth playing. Even Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, has a hell of a time getting a decent video game adaptation–and that’s assuming the games even make it out of Japan. Despite being a worldwide pop culture icon, Godzilla isn’t a hot property like he used to be. These days it’s just the die-hard monster cultist weirdos like me laying awake at night, dreaming of the perfect Godzilla game.
But Godzilla’s loyal disciples are coming together, and if we can round up enough money and support, that dream game might just become a, uh, reality game. Filmmaker/writer/producer Chris Mirjahangir, Godzilla game designer Simon Strange (that’s his real name!), and Godzilla comic artist extraordinaire Matt Frank are in the earliest planning stages of what is likely to be the first Kickstarter project to make me throw sweaty, crumpled dollar bills at my computer in a crazed attempt to make this thing happen as quickly and awesomely as possible.
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Ever stop and think about how strange the world of Super Mario Bros. is? Floating treasure chests, people with mushrooms for heads, eating mushrooms to change size, Waluigi… if you pull back and look at everything objectively, these games and characters we’ve grown to love over the years are all kind of batshit crazy. But despite inhabiting a wildly surreal world (and often being a little weird themselves), Mario and friends have gone on to be pop culture icons, beloved all over the world. PBS’ Idea Channel has gone so far as to declare Super Mario Bros. the world’s greatest piece of surreal art.
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The angel-boy equivalent to hairy palms. He's been in puberty and unemployed for 20 years, what else was he gonna do?
So like Ray, I’m going to weigh in on Pit’s big 3DS debut, even though I didn’t buy it. Unlike Ray though, I didn’t walk away from Kid Icarus Uprising because I don’t want it, but because I have to be “careful” with my money because I’m a stupid “adult.” Yeah, I’m sure paying my student loans will be a thousand times more fun than shooting hell-monsters out of the sky with the help of a wise-cracking, gun-slinging cherub. Though I agree with Ray that the controls sound rough, I’m still excited to rediscover Angel Land.
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Click for full size!
It’s that time of year again, so put on some green and make like these Super Smashed Bros! Happy St. Patty’s Day, have fun and be safe!
So in my Waluigi write-up I mentioned that Luigi’s evil double had passed his shit-stained crown of Worst Mario Character to not one, not two, but a variety of annoying chodes that come out of the woodwork whenever Mario announces a party or a golf outing.
Who could possibly spark my nerd rage more than the unlovable mutant hell-spawn of Wario and Luigi? Read on!
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