The Long-Lost “Pie Factory” Stage From the Original Donkey Kong is Now Available for the Low, Low Price of Just $29.99!!

“Holy, Shi-moly, how can I get in on this sweet deal!?” I hear you scream at your computer monitor. Well, it’s fairly easy: If you’re a Club Nintendo member, simply pony up the first born male in your bloodline as a ritualistic sacrifice to Beelzebub any time before January 6th and wait, WHOA. Yeah I read that press release all wrong, my mistake. Actually what you have to do is buy one of these first party games: Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask, Art Academy: Lessons For Everyone!, Crosswords Plus or Style Savvy: Trendsetters, which are all available either now or very soon. As a result of your monetary donation, Nintendo will provide you with a code that allows you to download a modified NES rom of the original Donkey Kong (which includes the aforementioned “banned on Earth” pie-making level)! Now keep in mind the only way you’ll receive this password is by downloading one of these titles from the eShop rather than picking up a retail copy. Factor in the new SD card that you’ll most likely need as a result of the massive amount of memory these “full retail” games soak up and you’re looking at somewhere between $40 and $50 bucks to afford yourself the glory of playing this game for five minutes before shutting it off out of boredom. Of course if that sounds a bit steep, you could always go and grab your N64 out of the garage and throw in Donkey Kong 64. As traumatic of an experience as that game was, keep in mind that it still featured a perfect emulation of the actual arcade original Donkey Kong, pie factory included. What? You don’t want to talk about Donkey Kong 64? No, no, I understand, how thoughtless. Please forgive me.