At Last. Full Details on Just How the Wii U Launch is Gonna Shake Out.

Here, dear reader I offer you two choices: Below you can click to view the entire presentation for yourself:

Or after the jump you can read and watch along as I break down the entire show, offering up my sleep deprived ramblings along the way (complete with extra details and full trailers and stuff). But choose wisely, for while one of these options will bring you life, the other will take it from you…

- First off, what the Hell? Are we in Reggie’s basement? They couldn’t have dolled that joint up a bit more?

- 2 packages will be available on launch day: Sunday, November 18th (What retard lost that bet?)

- You’ve got your Basic 8GB console at $299.99:

- And a fancy pants “deluxe” setup with a 32GB console and a packed-in NintendoLand for $349.99:

- Personally I think that NintendoLand should be packed in with both systems and that the price difference should be between 249.99 and 299.99. Still, it looks like I’ll be blowing over 400 bucks in one day a little over 2 months from now.

- Metroid Blast (NintendoLand):

- I’m already confused. Am I supposed to want to play this? “Hey Bill Trinnen, don’t hurt your limpwrist trying to wrangle that gamepad.”

- Pikmin Adventure (NintendoLand):

- I’m just…I’m still not really sold on this NintendoLand thing. I’m sure it could end up proving me wrong and be a lot of fun. I just don’t really have any friends that play video games so I doubt I’ll really experience this game the way Nintendo wants me to. Oh well, at the very least I’ll have a nice new $50 beer coaster soon.

- New Super Mario Bros. U:

- Confirmed to be ready on launch day. Also, confirmed to be awesome. Easily the first game I play on this new system.

- Lego City: Undercover:

- I’ve just never been into Lego stuff even a little bit and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. Sorry, Robman.

- Here Nintendo goes with that “3rd pillar” talk again. Remember when they first announced the DS as their 3rd pillar next to the GBA and GameCube right before it went on become more successful than the two of those systems combined? Now they’ve got this Nintendo TVii thing for the Wii U and it could potentially become the most innovative aspect of the system:

- No additional cost, no monthly fee. That is pretty damn awesome.

- Video chat has been confirmed. Hallelujah.

- Bayonetta 2:

- Wait, what? I never played the first one. It’s cool that it’s an exclusive but was the original any good? All I remember were nerds going on and on about the main character’s ass. Should I be excited about this?

- The Wonderful 10whatthefuck?

- Some dude from Activision is being drawn out which means it’s time for a sizzle reel:

- Skylanders:Giants: “Eh.”

- Some minigame bullshit! “Whoop.”

- 007 Legends: “Ooh!”

- Transfor-”Yeah, no thank you.”

- Call of Duty: Black Ops 2:

- “Run, run, run, hide, hide, hide, shoot, shoot, shoot, die, die, die, RESPAWN. Run, run, run, hide, hide, hide, shoot, shoot, shoot, die, die, die, RESPAWN. Run, run, run, hide, hide, hide, shoot, shoot, shoot, die, die, die, RESPAWN. Run, run, run, hide, hide, hide, shoot, shoot, shoot, die, die, die, RESPAWN.”

Apparently some people can’t get enough of this stuff.

- Well, Reggie just said that the day one software library launch will be the strongest in Nintendo history. If I have to be honest, that really isn’t saying much *cough* But in any case, let’s have a look at the list of launch to window games, shall we?

Here’s Nintendo’s current list of expected games to launch for the Wii U between November 18 and March 2013:

NBA 2K13 (2K Sports)
Jeft Tailfin (Maximum Games)
Madden NFL 13 (EA)
EA Sports FIFA Soccer 13 (EA)
Mass Effect 3 (EA)
Toki Tori 2 (two tribes)
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate (Capcom)
ZombiU (Ubisoft)
Just Dance 4 (Ubisoft)
Avengers: Battle for Earth (Ubisoft)
Rabbids Land (Ubisoft)
Assassin’s Creed 3 (Ubisoft)
Rayman Legends (Ubisoft)
Sports Connection (Ubisoft)
Your Shape: Fitness Evolved 2013 (Ubisoft)
Nano Assault Neo (Shin’En)
Aliens: Colonial Marines (Sega)
Sonic & Sega All-Stars: Racing Transformed (Sega)
Trine 2: Director’s Cut (Frozenbyte)
Tank! Tank! Tank! (Namco)
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 (Namco)
Wheel of Fortune (THQ)
Jeopardy (THQ)
Darksiders 2 (THQ)
Funky Barn (505 Games)
Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 (Activision)
007 Legends (Activision)
Cabela’s Dangerous Hunts 2013 (Activision)
Wipeout 3 (Activision)
Skylanders Giants (Activision)
Rapala Pro Bass Fishing (Activision)
Transformers Prime (Activision)
Disney Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two (Disney Interactive)
Scribblenauts Unlimited (WB Games)
Game Party Champions (WB Games)
Batman: Arkham City Armored Edition (WB Games)
Runner2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien (Gaijin Games)
Ben 10: Omniverse (D3 Publisher)
Rise of the Guardians: The Video Game (D3 Publisher)
Family Party: 30 Great games Obstacle Arcade (D3 Publisher)
Zumba Fitness (Majesco)
New Super Mario Bros. Wii U (Nintendo)
Game & Wario (Nintendo)
Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge (Nintendo)
Sing Party (Nintendo)
Nintendo Land (Nintendo)
Wii Fit U (Nintendo)
The Wonderful 101 (Nintendo)
Pikmin 3 (Nintendo)

- Yeah, I want to play like 5 of those.

- Ok. Overall, not such a bad presentation I guess. It’s great to finally have some concrete details and there were a couple of cool little surprises in there (Nintendo TVii!!). It’s time for me to get back to sleep now but for those of you that are still left wanting, I leave you with one final trailer:

- SOLD.