Wii U Price Speculation Heats Up: “I’ll Suck a Grown Man’s D!#%” Cries Chorus of Nintendo Nerds.

Well, chorus of one. Look, I’m really not a big fan of these kinds of industry rumors as you may already know. Typically, they stem from a bunch of assholes that actually get paid to write about video games and when the legitimate fact well begins to dry, they just start making shit up to fulfill a quota. But since Nintendo themselves refuse to satisfy my personal needs with some concrete info, I’ve been forced to carouse the darkest, filthiest corners of the internet for any “news” I can wrap my mouth mind around: That’s right, I’ve been reading other Nintendo fansites. And the general consensus (today and according to whoever the hell VPD is) is that these Wii U combos are what desperate fanboys can expect to see waiting for them on store shelves at launch (theoretical date being 11/11/12):

Bundle 1: (The poor man’s package)

- Wii U system + GamePad = $249.99 Boom.

Bundle 2: (Players that probably own an HDTV)

- Wii U system + GamePad + Pack-in Title (Presumably Nintendo Land) = $299.99

Bundle 3: (Or as I like to call it: Fancy Feast)

- Wii U system + GamePad + Pack-in Title + Extra GamePad + “Full release” massage from President of Nintendo, Iwata-San himself = $349.99

Could this possibly be how it all shakes out? As always, stay tuned to Shigeru’s List for more from the man on the street.