Nothing says 'hours of fun!' like numbers on a black-and-white grid. No, I'm serious.
If you’re a Club Nintendo member with at least 100 coins and a 3DS, you need to know that you only have one day left to grab a free copy Mario’s Picross. Seriously, if you even sort of like puzzle games, you need to give this game a shot. It’s kind of like Sudoku, only easier and more fun. When you’re done with a round of Sudoku all you have is a bunch of boxes with numbers scrawled in them and regret for being tricked into doing math for hours. When you’re done with a round of Picross, you have a picture of a doggie! Or a boat! You’ve also lost like four hours of sleep because you kept telling yourself “I’ll do just one more.”
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Nintendo’s been farting around with making retail game demos available on the 3DS eShop for a while now but Mutant Mudds marks the first time a download only title has been given the treatment. Developed by Renegade Kid (the badasses who created the DS first person shooters, Moon and Dementium: The Ward), MM follows the platforming adventures of some bland dipshit with a water pack as he runs around destroying giant floating turds, or mud as the designers would have you believe.
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Okay, not EVERYTHING should be a Super Mario Bros. mash-up.
If there’s one thing I love as much as video games, it’s giant monster movies. There is something primal and innately satisfying about mutated dinosaurs, giant space aliens, and humongous robots going apeshit and knocking over skyscrapers while beating the hell out of each other. Unfortunately, there aren’t very many giant monster video games, and of the few out there, even fewer are worth playing. Even Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, has a hell of a time getting a decent video game adaptation–and that’s assuming the games even make it out of Japan. Despite being a worldwide pop culture icon, Godzilla isn’t a hot property like he used to be. These days it’s just the die-hard monster cultist weirdos like me laying awake at night, dreaming of the perfect Godzilla game.
But Godzilla’s loyal disciples are coming together, and if we can round up enough money and support, that dream game might just become a, uh, reality game. Filmmaker/writer/producer Chris Mirjahangir, Godzilla game designer Simon Strange (that’s his real name!), and Godzilla comic artist extraordinaire Matt Frank are in the earliest planning stages of what is likely to be the first Kickstarter project to make me throw sweaty, crumpled dollar bills at my computer in a crazed attempt to make this thing happen as quickly and awesomely as possible.
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Ever stop and think about how strange the world of Super Mario Bros. is? Floating treasure chests, people with mushrooms for heads, eating mushrooms to change size, Waluigi… if you pull back and look at everything objectively, these games and characters we’ve grown to love over the years are all kind of batshit crazy. But despite inhabiting a wildly surreal world (and often being a little weird themselves), Mario and friends have gone on to be pop culture icons, beloved all over the world. PBS’ Idea Channel has gone so far as to declare Super Mario Bros. the world’s greatest piece of surreal art.
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The angel-boy equivalent to hairy palms. He's been in puberty and unemployed for 20 years, what else was he gonna do?
So like Ray, I’m going to weigh in on Pit’s big 3DS debut, even though I didn’t buy it. Unlike Ray though, I didn’t walk away from Kid Icarus Uprising because I don’t want it, but because I have to be “careful” with my money because I’m a stupid “adult.” Yeah, I’m sure paying my student loans will be a thousand times more fun than shooting hell-monsters out of the sky with the help of a wise-cracking, gun-slinging cherub. Though I agree with Ray that the controls sound rough, I’m still excited to rediscover Angel Land.
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Because despite some heavy praise being piled on top of most of what the game has to offer, the universal criticism seems to be that there lie some deep flaws in the controls. You know, that one aspect of the video game medium that you have an active participation in? Even our old buddies at Nintendolife.com who have a tendency to play nice can’t completely sugarcoat the fact that Nintendo, a company synonymous with excellent and innovative play control dropped the ball with the on land portions of this game (which takes up a much greater chunk than the flying stages):
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It’s that time of year again, so put on some green and make like these Super Smashed Bros! Happy St. Patty’s Day, have fun and be safe!
Tyson not included.
And you know why? Because this NES classic is one of my favorite games of all time and Nintendo didn’t have the goddamn decency to give it the 3D classics treatment. Let’s see, so far Excitebike, Twinbee, Xevious, Kirby’s Adventure and Urban Champion (!?) make up the entire list of games available with a fancy new coat of 3D paint. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SHIT SELECTION IS THAT!?
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So in my Waluigi write-up I mentioned that Luigi’s evil double had passed his shit-stained crown of Worst Mario Character to not one, not two, but a variety of annoying chodes that come out of the woodwork whenever Mario announces a party or a golf outing.
Who could possibly spark my nerd rage more than the unlovable mutant hell-spawn of Wario and Luigi? Read on!
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R.E.united and it feels so good.
Despite the fact that I picked this game up three weeks ago, a day job and the constraints of a normal social life didn’t allow me the time to finally beat it until last night and guess what? I have some serious thoughts and strong opinions and stuff about it. Resident Evil: Revelations has been one of the most anticipated titles for the 3DS since even before the system was released a year ago so does it live up to the hype? How does it compare to other entries in the series? Does the franchise translate well to a portable experience?
Read on dear reader for half-assed answers to one or more of the above!
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Last week the guys over at Stabyourself.net unveiled Mari0. If the funky spelling and logo didn’t tip you off, Mari0 is the 1985 classic Super Mario Bros.… if Mario had a Portal gun. For reals. Keep reading for video and impressions!
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This message was sent out in Japan 2 whole weeks ago. They get all the good stuff first.
I received this transmission around 5:30 this afternoon and along with the vague preview, us 3DS owners now have some fancy pants Legend of Zelda stationary to draw dicks on and send to our friends. That’s all the news for now. You’re very welcome.
Where the hell did this come from?
…or if you’re like me, plug in a controller because you never disconnected that shit from the televison in the first place. Word on the street right now is that a small band of rebels group of developers in California called Super Fighter Team are finishing up work on Nightmare Busters. An according to the programmers “masterful run-and-gun game for the Super Nintendo, Super Famicom and all compatible video game systems….” This will be the first title released in cartridge form for the SNES in over 15 years so you know what that means: Time to scour ebay for a few cases of Crystal Pepsi to celebrate.
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