The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D: The Version You’ve Never Seen: A Review: By Ray.

Hey, kids! Who wants to check out a late ass review? What’s that? None of you? Well, guess what? Nobody is twisting your arm to read it!

I’ve been meaning to finish writing and post this ever since I beat the game last month but have kept getting sidetracked for one reason or another. Hey, sorry…I don’t run this site for a living. Anyway, Ocarina of Time has been around for about 15 years now. Long enough for me to not bother getting into a full review because chances are that if you like video-games and are reading this, you’ve probably already played it. Instead, I’m gonna do a quick rundown of what I did and didn’t like about this remastered 3D version of the Nintendo64 classic. The fancy new additions and the missed opportunities. First up…

What the F, guys? (The Bad):

- The Controls (Part 1): But only the touch screen replacement-for-buttons part of it! The fact that you can assign boots and stuff to buttons instead of having to constantly enter the equipment screen is awesome. It’s just that because there’s only A,B,X and Y on the 3DS and no C-controls from the N64 pad, your attack and roll take up some needed space for other items. Nintendo should think about maybe making some kind of attachment thing for more control options sometime soon.

- The Visuals (Part 1): Don’t get me wrong, the graphics are leaps and bounds beyond what was cooked up for the N64. I just think it could have been pushed a bit further. Little details like the steps in some areas remaining flat textures and the low poly count on a lot of side characters don’t really make the game feel all that much of a step forward in terms of overall design. Also, and I hate to say it…the 3D isn’t all that effective here or even necessary, sure it kind of looks cool during cut scenes but the rest of the game you’ll have the slider turned off. Well, except for the first time you look out across Hyrule field. That’s kind of impressive. Kind of.

- No Majora’s Mask?: I admit, this is me being greedy but it would have been a nice inclusion. Yes, the Master Quest is unlockable after playing through once, but come on! This is the 25th anniversary of the Zelda franchise!

Now, enough complaining…

Way to go Nintendo! (The Good):

- The Controls (Part 2): Two words: Gyroscopic aiming. Seriously, the first time I tried this I was worried that I’d have to flail around like an idiot, pointing my system in all directions every time I wanted to land an arrow (Good thing Nintendo was smart enough to make the control optional). But surprisingly real time aiming became my preferred method. It’s shockingly accurate and fun and even kind of addictive. It’s just too bad that it’s pretty much impossible to use with the 3D effect turned on.

The Visuals (Part 2): Even though I think the graphics could have been even better it doesn’t mean that they’re not impressive. There are some areas that look absolutely jaw-dropping especially when compared to the original. The once static pre-rendered side streets of the Hyrule courtyard are now gorgeously fluid moving polygons and the staircase of Ganon’s tower now rock some seriously beautiful lighting effects through the stained glass windows. Too bad there aren’t more moments like these throughout the entire game.

- Portability: This is an obvious plus but it has to mentioned. The fact that a not only faithful but upgraded version of one of the greatest video games ever made now exists to carry around in my back pocket is reason enough to warrant a purchase.

- Boss Mode: I can’t stress enough how happy I am that this feature was included. The Zelda series is known for being host to a wealth of unforgettable moments and the creative ways to destroy some incredibly creative bosses have always been counted amongst them. I remember after taking out Stallord in Twilight Princess, wishing I could go back and fight that dude at my leisure. Let’s see more of this in future releases, Nintendo!

As someone who played this for the N64 when it launched and now every subsequent re-release yeah, I think I can honestly say I’m a little Ocarina’d out. At least for the time being. Let’s see, there were the two discs for the GameCube: The Legend of Zelda: Collector’s Edition and the original Master Quest. Then I played it again after downloading it on Wii’s Virtual Console and now here we are with this 3D version. Yet despite so many hours spent playing the same adventure, I had a total blast with this 3DS experience. In fact, you know what? I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: 3D ‘n Stuff is the definitive version of this *timeless classic.

At least until the Wii U re-make.

*See what I did there?