Holy Shit, Yesterday Was Jaws’ Birthday!

I had a conversation a few years ago with a good friend about this flick. His argument was that the original Jaws was so good that it can barely be called a horror movie, standing on its own as just a great drama. While I agree that yes Jaws is fucking awesome, I’m sorry: I can’t get behind the idea that horror movies in general come off as some bastard genre not worthy of legitimate praise (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is pure cinema in the best possible way and in my top ten of all time). So what does Jaws have to do with Nintendo? Well, there just so happened to be an NES adaptation and it turned out so shitty it can barely be called a game.

Jaws for the Nintendo Entertainment System is yet another in a long line of awesome franchises that those dumb fucks at LJN felt the need to butcher and wrap up in fancy NES packaging. Yes, I’m bitter. So take a look at this clip:

The only thing that I can tell is happening is that the game is being completed from beginning to end in about 6 goddamn minutes. Seriously? 6 minutes? I’m all for games that feature short burst gameplay and encourage high scores and whatever but that spells ripoff even more than…

Jaws 2:

and The Revenge:

But not 3D* because that took place in the amusement park with the underwater tunnel and was kind of awesome:

So anyway, I’d planned on watching the original last night to celebrate that sweet little guppy’s 35th birthday but spaced out and didn’t get a chance to. I guess I know what I’m doing to tonight.

Aside from staying the fuck away from the ocean:

*Originally titled Jaws 3/People 0 back when the legendary Joe Dante was set to direct.

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