Archive for February, 2010
2005: “Where’s Everyone Going? Bingo?”
2005:
Game of the Year:
Resident Evil 4
2005 was looking like the end. Yeah, I’d been getting a kick out of some of the games for Nintendo’s “third pillar” system, the Nintendo DS *insert third leg joke here – but for whatever reason there just wasn’t a whole lot out there that was doing it for me. Resident Evil 4 was pretty much the only game I remember putting any real time into back then and that fucker shipped in January. Even though Nintendo’s next console still had at least another 2 years before release, 2005 turned out to be my final year with the Gamecube.
Nintendo on 2010: “We Will Make a Shit Ton of Money This Year.”
Surprise, surprise. Nintendo announced that they’re still in the video game business yesterday by revealing their software lineup for the first half of 2010. What’s that? A sequel to Super Mario Galaxy, a brand new Metroid developed by Team Ninja and a ton of rumors pointing to a holiday release for the first Legend of Zelda developed specifically for the Wii? Sorry mom, this is the year your baby boy starts selling some ass.
Here’s what’s headed our way:
Monday, Bloody Funday: Out With The Old
ZERO games on Virtual Console this week. Is this a portent of things to come? Europe’s been dealing with this situation every other week lately. I hate that shit, mostly because with old games you either know whether it’s good or bad, or it’s some strange surprise from the mists of time and thus worthy of interest, however short lived. When it’s just WiiWare and DSiWare, the games may be great or they may be shit, but either way it takes some effort to care enough to find out. And usually it isn’t worth that effort.
All that said, baseless opinions on this week’s offerings within!
For the Love of God Nintendo, Give me Arcade Punch-Out!! Already.
Our good buddies over at Nintendo Life posted a pretty good read a little while back asking a question that I’ve spent far too many nights lying awake in a sweat-stained bed, torturing my precious little mind over. Will Nintendo’s original arcade versions of their classic titles ever be made available and if so, when the F when?
2004: “That Son of a Bitch Took My Pants. “
2004:
Game of the Year:
Terminator 3: The Redemption
For some of you this may be where my decade in review nukes the shark, but hang with me. I never claimed this list to be a best of the decade feature. This is a retrospective of my most played and favorites. So how can a licensed game based on a shitty, shitty sequel to an awesome franchise (and the second crack at a T3 game at that!) possibly be worth anyone’s time? Because this little guy was developed by the same team responsible for Beetle Adventure Racing, one of the best racing games on any console ever.
Interested now? Well keep reading anyway.
Monday, Bloody Funday: Sonic + Knuckles
The press release this week is Presidents’ Day-themed, but we all know better.
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Happy Valentine’s Day, Girlfriend.
Being with you is even more satisfying than that time I managed to collect every star coin on the most bullshit of Super Mario stages. I love you <3
Who the FUCK Can Finish Roger Rabbit?
L L H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H 3 B
Without that password I would have never believed that Judge Doom could be reached at the end of this game for the the original NES. Like so many other titles during the 8-bit era, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? really has it in for your ass. Kids were mercilessly punished for no apparent reason at all with bullshit controls and puzzles that didn’t make one shred of sense.
One Day, All of These Games Will Bury Me.
Just when I was starting to worry about not having enough games on the back burner waiting to soak up my near non-existent attention span, here comes another arcade collection this time courtesy of Data East. The guys best known for Bad Dudes, Burgertime, and uhhh….yeah other stuff. Priced at a measly 20 bucks, I5 games are included all of which feature multiple controller options as well as online 2-player and Wii-speak support!
Here’s what you get:
Blaster Master Suckerpunches WiiWare, 19 Presumed Dead
In the kind of surprise announcement for which I share a love along with former Sega president Tom Kalinske, Sunsoft have today revealed that Blaster Master Overdrive, a brand-new game in the Blaster Master series, is arriving on WiiWare this Monday. No word yet on how bastard-hard the game will be, but you drive a tank in a sidescrolling environment and sometimes don’t drive a tank in an overhead environment, which certainly sounds like Blaster Master to me!
The news comes on the heels of December’s surprise revival of Sunsoft’s presence in North America with help from startup publisher Gaijinworks, headed by former Working Designs president Vic Ireland. Based on my own experience, the last half of that sentence is completely lost on the Nintendo-faithful.
I just hope the music kicks ass.
Screens on the official game page right here, and press release here.
2003: “Get the Hell Outta Here and Back to Your Knitting.”
2003:
Game of the Year:
Beyond Good and Evil
It’s sort of beyond redundant to call Beyond Good and Evil a masterpiece that went tragically under the radar, but there’s a good reason for that. Ask anyone’s who’s ever gotten their hands on this sexy fucker and you can see it in their eyes. An expression comparable to one that’s remembering a girl back in high school who was way out of your league – and then God smiled upon you and actually allowed you to hook up with her. Believe me, this is a very good game.
All the news that’s fit to ignore
Or at least fit to postpone commenting upon until everyone’s already done talking about it.
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