Stanley Kubrick was right. This was the year that the black monolith (or purple if you swung that way) fell upon us when Nintendo released its fourth console, the GAMECUBE. And while of course It was bittersweet to see the sun set on the 64-bit era – Man, that little workhorse had one helluva swan song in Conker’s Bad Fur Day. Because how often do you get the chance to get drunk out of your head, smoke some of that stinky grass and then flat out murder a giant pile of shit that sings opera? As a video-game character no less.
At first I was planning on presenting my top ten list of the past decade as one legendary, super-sized article. But then I realized that the benefit of padding the shit out of the main page would make posting each year on it’s own totally worth it. Brain, my laziness thanks your occasional genius.
So, here it is. Entry one in a series presenting my favorite Nintendo games and memories from the first ten years of the new millenium.
Game of the Year:
The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
I was living in Berkeley and working at both a coffee shop and comic book store when Majora’s Mask came out. It was nearing the end of the (glorious) N64 era and I’m pretty sure this and Perfect Dark were getting the most play at the time.
-In the world of Wii boxes, Japanese gamers will soon have some Killer Instinct black to go with their Maximum Carnage/Doom/New Super Mario Bros. Wii red. Starting with this game, all Wii games released in Japan with a CERO rating of C or higher (like an ESRB rating of T or higher) will be released with black boxes. Nothing’s been said on doing anything similar in the US or Europe, because apparently Nintendo equating black with violence over here doesn’t fly as well as it does in Japan.
- In related news, Nintendo is also launching a Million Seller/Player’s Choice line for Wii games in Japan, complete with new boxart that will let J. Randomu Japanese Gamer-san proudly display how big of a cheapass he really is. Notable among the first titles to receive the treatment is Oboro Muramasa Youtouden(Muramasa: The Demon Blade here.) Notable among the first titles omitted: any of the big titles published by Nintendo themselves. Kotaku has more.
On the one hand, at least they picked a relatively classy color to dress them up with, unlike the blinding greens or oranges or attention-yanking yellows and reds that have come before; on the other hand, they remind me a lot of this travesty. (Interesting side note: Konami hasn’t tried that shit again. The downside is they just let games go out of print instead.) Once again, no announcement made regarding a similar budget line for the West, and once again this likely has to do with cultural differences: every third-party Wii game gets marked down to under $30 within a few months anyway.
-The Classic Controller Pro, however, IS coming to America! The dual-handled wonder will be available for $20, the same price as the original Classic controller, or in a bundle for Capcom’s Monster Hunter 3 that includes the game and controller for $60. Both the game and controller will be out in April, if you want to *snicker* GET A HOLD *snicker* on them.
Uno for $10? Twice as much for something shittier than the versions available on other systems? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!
On Virtual Console: Ghoul Patrol, the game where Zombies Ate My Neighbors hit the sophomore slump and died. Unlike the titular adversaries, has not risen since.
I’m glad my household got upgraded cable service, or else today would have been a complete wash. But hey: Tatsunoko vs. Capcom and No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle in the physical realm make this probably the best week the Wii has ever seen, or will ever see. Maybe that’s why the downloads suck ass- so as not to pilfer attention from the disc-based awesome.
While browsing Amazon a couple weeks ago because I have no life and shopping for games is the only thing that brings me fulfillment I discovered that a) Sam & Max Season 2: Beyond Time & Spaceis coming out on Wii, and b) on February 9th. Having played Season 1 and the first part of Season 2 on GameTap a year ago, I say: Rejoice, dog-and-bunny fans without a decent-ish PC or 360! READ MORE
According to a bunch of other sites that like to post “facts” backed up by “research,” Nintendo’s big holiday release for 2009, New Super Mario Bros. Wii. The. Game. has already become one of the top selling titles for the system. At 3 million and counting in Japan alone, NSMBW is now officially the fastest selling game to reach that mark in the country’s history.
Fuck “Mortal Monday”: From the company that brought you Pac-Man, Soul Calibur, and Mario Kart Arcade GP, Muscle March is now on WiiWare in North America for 500 Wii points…. Yep. I think I’ll have to review this one. In the meantime, I’ve taken advantage of our newfound Twitter functionality to follow King Pedroso in hopes of winning a Muscle March skin for my Wii. That is, if Ray doesn’t keep it all to himself, I know how much he wants one.
More words about this week’s downloadable junk (teehee, junk) on the Wii just beyond this blue text -> READ MORE
Here’s a heads up out there to both of our readers that Shigeruslist.comfinally caved in to your overwhelming demand (seriously, no more e-mails please) and joined that newfangled twitter site that all the cool kids seem to be talking about these days. Click me to check it out.
I’m gonna miss that nerdy background more than anything
Capcom Japan today announced something I’d been expecting/hoping would happen eventually. On April 22nd they’ll be releasing a Rockman Zero collection for the Nintendo DS in Japan, containing all four of the Rockman Zero games that previously were released separately on the Game Boy Advance. The reason I said “Rockman” and not “Mega Man,” as the series is called in the rest of the world, is that as of right now there’s no announcement regarding a release outside of Japan. Little need to worry, though, as Mega Man is just behind Resident Evil and crack cocaine in the list of Capcom properties that people are compelled to buy whether they enjoy it or not. Besides being stupid by leaving money on the table, not bringing Mega Man Zero Collection to the US would be very strange for a company that just went through the trouble of localizing Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, a rather decent-sized gamble. READ MORE
If you’re nothing like me and have long pined for the day when you could experience “the magic” of 1993’s cinematic Super Mario “adaptation” on a Nintendo console – it’s time to whip out your Wii-motes. This spring your freakish wish will be granted when Netflix debuts its service for Nintendo’s struggling Wii console.
Yesterday was Monday, which means Nintendo released a number of games for their various (3) downloadable game platforms. As usual, most of them (especially on DSiWare) look like nothing special, but a little Capcom game called Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney has made it to WiiWare. Which you probably got from the title of this post. I am a shit writer.
Don’t you just love those self-indulgent reviews that spend what feels like an endless amount of paragraphs waxing on and on about some childhood memory that you could give two shits about? Full of references to people you don’t know and places you’ve never even heard of, let alone been. Then all of a sudden almost as an afterthought, casually mentions whatever it is that they were supposed to be writing about in the first place – with a vague at best connection to the story that you just spent the last ten minutes reading. I hate that shit too. But not this review because I wrote it and if he’s out there somewhere, it would mean something to Jose’.